When I want something, I ask myself ‘why’.
I seek the most honest, basic answer. Once I’ve reached the base of my desire I can batter make a decsion, and act. Sometimes, I want something for superficial reasons (shoes to impress clients, to fit in with office culture, et cetera) and that’s OK. I buy the impressive shoes, and laugh at myself and the world I put myself in.
Sometimes, the things I want, I already have, but have neglected.
Part of me would like to own land. Why? To free myself from other people’s physical power over me. Why? To have a place to call my own. Really why? To demonstrate my worth and to feel secure.
It would be healthier for me to develop my self-worth without regard to physical things and what people can see, and to work on my insecurities. I could have a big house on my own land and still be disturbed by other people’s powers (compulsory purchase; new railways; flooding; zombie attack) and still feel insecure owing to my past.
It’s not the land that I desire, it’s the prestige and security.
It would be better to be comfortable with people however they percieve me, and to be flexible in the face of uncertainty. The stability and security I crave, I already have, if I just shift my focus and see how well rooted I am in my network.